Do you have any extra-gluten options? Sorry, I hate to be "that person," but do you have any extra-gluten options on the menu? No, not gluten-free -- extra gluten. You see, I have a disorder that makes me allergic to anything that doesn't have gluten in it. I know, it's very rare.
Really, no extra gluten options? Well, maybe I can make substitutions. I see the burger comes with a side salad. Could we swap out the salad for a pizza? Correct, an entire pizza. Sure, deep dish would be great. You can never be too careful.
And we'll start with an order of the garlic toast. Would you mind bringing that with a side of pretzel knots? Oh, and some bread for the table when you get a chance. Thaaaaanks.